I have been nineteen for about a week now. My birthday flew by, actually. I woke up one day and I was nineteen. I woke up to mass texts and comments on my Facebook. It's nice to know that people, even those that I have initially lost touch with, still care enough to leave me birthday wishes. I spent the day with my boyfriend, and it was very fun. He loves me, no doubt about that. :)

However, now what? Now what is there in store for me? I have been on the tips of my toes searching for a job every day for the past two months now. Not just any job, but a job that will allow me to support myself. You see, in June, I plan, note: plan, on moving in with my boyfriend into his grandmothers house while she moves out into a new one. We have all our expenses written down and calculated so we know how much we should be earning, but the problem is, I have to find a job that allows me to earn enough.

I'm competing in the real world with men and women that have had years upon years of experience in the corporate world, and me? I'm just fresh out of high school and just completed my last job at a mall. The switch from a part-time mall job to a full-time office job is going to be quite, to say the least, brutal. I'll have a lot to learn, but I truly hope I can find an employer willing to work with me.

I'm terrified. I know I can do this, but it seems like there's so much baggage holding me back. It's time to break free, and take responsibility for myself and my life.

As John Baptiste Moliére once said, "It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do."

I definitely regret not keeping up with this blog as much as I had planned. I never wrote my goals out, I never finished the things I enjoy about the holidays... blah.

Hopefully I'll start to have things to write about now that it's a new year. My entries won't always be about fashion, but that's okay, right? I guess I just need something to write in, seeing as an old-fashioned journal never quite did the trick. I'm so picky and particular about the way my handwriting works, it would take forever to write a simply entry. Maybe now that I'm older, things will be a bit different?

Speaking of aging, I'll be 19 in three weeks. And in a year and three weeks, I'll be 20. No longer a teenager - a fresh adult. I'm definitely unable to handle the thought of that. :(

Looks like I'll be an angsty 18 year old until then.

Bliss.

I cannot wait for the holidays. To be more precise, I cannot wait for:

- The hot cocoa. (:
- Christmas cookies.
- The cheerful spirit that everyone seems to get in.
- The music that plays so often, everywhere, that it gets annoying.
- Shopping for my friends and family.
- The cold weather and clothes we get to wear because of it.
- Spending time with family and friends.
- The decorations. My mom goes all out inside the house with Christmas decorations.
- Christmas commercials about Santa Claus and the holiday spirit. You know, the ones that air the day after Thanksgiving. (;
- Celebrating the actual meaning behind Christmas Day.
- Reuniting with people you haven't spoken to in ages just to wish them a Merry Christmas.
- Christmas carols. :)

Hah, it's not even Thanksgiving, and I'm already anxious about Christmas like a little six year old. I know I've forgotten some reasons in the list, so it'll be my goal to add onto them each day or so until Christmas. I imagine I'll have a fairly long list by then! The more to be grateful for, I suppose. (:

Speaking of hot cocoa, I do believe I'll settle down with a cup of some tonight. Right now, in fact. Goodnight!

Candy Apple.

Do you ever sit at your chair in front of the computer, fingers ready to type, though your mind is ever so blank? That's how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm ready to crank out my second blog entry, but my God, I don't know what to talk about. I wish I could say that my life is full of adventure and there is not a dull moment in sight, but that would be a lie. In fact, all I did today was watch a little bit of friend vs. friend wrestling in someone's front yard, visit our new local skatepark, and lay in a bed with two other girls while talking about our lives.

Speaking fashion, however, it seems that this winter is a great time for bright red lips. I went out and bought myself a tube of it myself, planning on using it solely for my Halloween costume. However, when I put it on, I hardly recognized the girl in the mirror. I'm used to my eyes being the main feature of my face, not my lips, and the red practically screamed, "LOOK AT ME!"

It's growing on me now. Every time I swipe some on and pout my lips ala Marilyn Monroe, I smile. Once I grow a pair, I'll wear the red lips out and see what others think. But for now, I'll just have those cherry red lips in the safety of my home. :)

C'est Moi.

To be quite honest, I'm looking forward to the anonymity of keeping an online blog away from my friends and family. I will be able to let loose and vent and say whatever I please without fearing they will discover this, and knowing that is absolutely amazing.

But how should I go about writing of my life when those who read, if any at all, have no idea who I am? I may as well introduce myself. :) My name is Amber, and I am eighteen. I plan on attending cosmetology school and then traveling the world doing hair and makeup for models and celebrities. High ambitions, wouldn't you think?

Art fascinates me, and I find it to be in the form of makeup more than anything else. To me, the face is a canvas just waiting to be explored. I love music just like all the other girls next door, though my tastes are quite out there. I love acoustic music the most, with metal following in a very close second.

I live in boots/moccasins, leggings, tunics, hoodies, and skinny jeans. I like the occasional knitted beret, and my dream hair is to be below my chest and black, with the perfect side bangs. I have five tattoos and twelve piercings. My ears are stretched to 7/8s, and I couldn't be any more delighted with them.

I have a boyfriend named Andrew, and we've been dating for two years. He is the vocalist of a local band here, and I must admit, he is the hottest thing since sliced bread. I may be biased, of course. (;

Perhaps I'll add more to this ~*About Me*~ later - I have to leave some sort of mystery behind, don't I? If you are interested in getting to know me or reading my blog, do add me or whatever it is you do on here.

Keep in touch. <3.